Im sorry that your son is thrown into a multiple household situation that is only hurting him. There are MANY things wrong with the child support system, that need to be changed, starting by making laws uniform across the state, allowing it to be a pre-tax reduction for the person who pays it, a unified stopping point where the non-custodial parent is removed from paying without having to spend the time or money to have to go to court to get it stopped, etc. I raised my daughter essentially by myself, I was a stay at home father and her and I were with each other every day. It is rare that the father is the caretaker. She never even got a job but lived on our money. There are a lot of valid points being made in this conversation. Email me. I hear women I would say 97% of the time now saying they need to find a Baby daddy so they can get a new paycheck this is reality what are we going to do about this!!! But the pendulem has swung all the way to the other side and it doesnt appear that its going to be put where it belongs..in the middle. According to your logic, if Dad can only find one day a month to be in his kids life, Mom should be expected to feed Kid 3 meals a day, drive Kid everywhere, pay for school costs, etc. Women paying child support are the outliers. There was a point where I think he stopped bathing. I have a child that I was seeing everyday I picked him up from school everyday then went and cooked him dinner before I met backup with his mother I spent thousands of dollars on daycare alone with no help paid out of pocket for medical because she wasnt going to do it also got him every weekend. But her word of mouth and a note someone wrote for her granted me to pay amln extra 542 a month on top of the base child support. At the very least rebooted it is definitely getting old. If they didnt want the above, they would have listened to Karen DeCrow. My husband is also going through a horrible mess with an interstate child support mess. This is the best way in my personal opinion. The only thing that can again make the equation equal, is the ability of the man to decide if hes willing to be responsible financially and supportively for the child. We may not be getting Ben and Jerrys, may need to cut the cable for a while, not get that new iPhone, etc. Thats what I signed up for when I had a kid. 3) It would help to listen to Tom Leykis on line. Thats the whole point. My wife walked out on me and our children they live with me we were married for 18 years she wanted something different i am disabled i asked her to pay to help me with them she did for a couple of months and stop i just had to take child support out i was told even if they live with me i may have to pay her child support that is not right i was told most fathers dont get child support but that is not right either moms can be dead beat moms to be no one says that. My ex left me in 2005 for a female soldier when he was in iraq and had gotten her pregnant. I literally spend 300 on sushi. My story? So there are fathers who pay religiously just to get the shaft. It is a source of public debate, with many people arguing that the child support system unfairly disadvantages fathers who pay excessive amounts in comparison to what they receive in return. This is about the children and what is best for them, but somehow the legal system hasnt quite grasped this. The judge ruled that he should keep paying the same amount with o income and he now had an arearage for the time it took to get the court date. I raised all 4 of mine alone two are twins he paid me 350.00 a week !!! Hes now getting SSI benefits which cannot be garnished and my daughter is LEGALLY BLIND works a full-time job and cannot get SSDI benefits! Not only that, but I actually offered him 50/50 custody with no child support on either side, and he turned me down thinking he wouldnt have to pay that much because I work. My goal is to raise a well rounded emotionally stable child peace, Child support is on top of child supportso dads in sd pay their child support and also half of daycareforces dads into poverty, I would like to see receipts for expenses for children through child support services, so child support is paying for moms drug or alcohol habits. Nearly across the board, states scored with a cumulative 1.63 grade point average (on a 4.0 scale). And wont be able to really have my own place because my child support is so high. He eventually gets a job and after working there for months he and his company receives garnishment notice . Thats worth way more than any amount of money for child support. Morally and ethically maybe but the government should not be mandating how or if someone raises their kid. This way the parent can still continue to pay and the child doesnt suffer. 1. Tell it to my lawyer. I pay what I can when I can but I wont be able to work at all if this happens and my girlfriend cant afford to support us both and shouldnt have to if the courts would follow the law and calculate the arrears and payments based on my actual adjusted gross income. Educate yourself and stop assuming that every man is like your kids dad. Be there for the kids or dont be there at all. THE MONEY CAN BURN, it wont save anybody. I know what my kid likes because I spend quality time with him when I can and i expose him to numerous activities to broaden his horizons. What noncustodial father would have been given this treatment? Thats why I suggest every man I meet in US suggest, dont marry at all in US, use her as girlfriend, and dont have kids until you really observe her for many years maybe 10+ yrs. The old chestnut. So stop it. Lets face it, our government (federal, state & local) cant even manage their funds s0 in exchange, the system becomes over burdened, yet the salaries of the government employees continue to rise. It is important to note that a judge has the right to supersede this agreement if they feel it is unfair. He is what brought the most happiness in my life and an outrageous amount of support made me homeless and broke that time that was once spent with my son. Pray for strength and be glad you will never have to look your child in the eye and explain why you didnt try. I still sit here penalized with restrictions, garnishments etc when Ive supported my son since before an order ever existed. That way kids are being helped by both parents. Taxmanyou work at IRS? If I could afford to drive the extra couple hours to see my kids during the week I would but there is not enough time in a day or gas money in the bank to support this. Please post this on Facebook so I can like it. I have to beg churches for food assistance I can only receive once a week. You dont own them. I have my two kids on my health ins & dental. I am a divorced mother and I agree men typically get screwed when it comes to cs. Thanks you can email me at xrangr375(at)aol(dot)com. This is a new time and the child support laws seriously need to be changed. You can have an incredible relationship with someone who does not reside with you by the way. without any financial help. Your email address will not be published. Murphy discusses cases in which legal fathers resort to violence or threats of violence against a mother and her children when child support orders are enforced against them. This shoehorns men and women into sexist roles, with men forced to be the breadwinner. You obviously Madea bad choice in men because I know fathers in almost every state in this country would jump at that opportunity if for no other reason than to be with their children more than every other week and a couple of hours on Wednesday in the off week. There is US Supreme court Ruling stating that parents and children have NO RIGHTS or ENTITLEMENTS to child support! Fortunately, after the family court adjudication, my CS is collected through payroll debit by probation court, and a quick comunique from the bankruptcy court to the family court clears the way. 4) Why doesnt the man ever get custody? The only one that spends weekends with me is my youngest. I have no criminal history. Some of the tactics that states and local jurisdictions have employed to increase child support collection among low-income non-custodial dads include: Making child support payments more affordable. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); THIS IS AN ATTORNEY ADVERTISEMENT. Spoken like someone who expects someone else to foot the bill. And 100% would gladly take care of my kids every night and i would not want a dime from her. This would motivate lazy parent to work. Know that, your child in not a ward of any state, it is yours. Hmm so where do i go from here i found out she purchased a house back in 2006 for$277,000 when she did her financial report she said she was only getting 1000 a month, HMMMM now i start looking into more info, the case worker does not care, all they care about is getting my money, where do i go from here?? If your father is paying alimony to your mother, then no. In the state of Wisconsin, if the mother has primary placement of he child and receives ANY kind of state aid, for her, the child in question, or children with another man, child support is required to be paid. Mike indefinitely agree with you. The judge took her word for it. I dont have an issue with comtinuing payments to take care of that. Its not about male or female. Best said by attorney Melanie McCulley: When a female determines she is pregnant, she has the freedom to decide if she has the maturity level to undertake the responsibilities of motherhood, if she is financially able to support a child, if she is at a place in her career to take the time to have a child, or if she has other concerns precluding her from carrying the child to term. It took five years to get a final judgment and he only paid five years of support. Good luck. The system here in Nebraska needs redone for certain situations. I am planning to meet with a lawyer in a week or so. Here's what happened: My child support went from $1,113.00 per month plus health insurance of $225.00 to $243.00 a month in child support and she paid the health insurance. Ive had to fight for every cent I received from child support to include being their investigator on the fathers whereabouts, where he worked, where he lived, what he drove etc.. Ive written numerous letters to Judge Carr that fell on death ears. Here are four of the most critical flaws of the current child support system. Ex. Dont buy into this best interests of the child lie. In P.A. Dont tell him to stop his whining. In my experience almost all divorced women claim to be abused. My ex does not do this, and in the process I find out many things he is interested in. Dont seem like you can no matter how hard you try. Its going over the top to accommodate non- custodial parents for no other reason than they are biologically linked to a child. I was lucky enough to work an assignment to the state where her and our child lived so that I could be closer to him as Summers and holidays were just not enough. That becomes a very slippery slope for a lot of dads. Men say women are bitter, and men are just as bitter for having to pay. Man has pull out method, her word shes on BC, a condom, or abstinence! Parents are supposed to support each other and their children not have children just to collect support. I did file for child support, but did so because I feel it is not fair to me to have to bear the financial burden alone, not when he is capable to help do so. If you need or want help collecting child support, you may apply for assistance online from the Child Support Division of the Texas Attorney General's Office (OAG), or call the toll-free number (800) 252-8014. I thank God for the CS system, because without it my ex would not voluntarily give me one red cent for the support of our 2 boys. He refused to have it fixed, even when I offered to pay him back in three days s. I couldnt bear watching my young toddler and other kids sweat for a day! Why is it that men in the midst of the great depression were not thrown in jail. Unfortunately, many parents avoid paying child support, using a variety of justifications. Roll these words off your tongue: Child support unfairness. Deadbeat dads a myth? You get a page saying write a letter to the court before the date because apparently it helps. 50/50 custody does nothing to serve a child well, it screws them up.. modern day laws are completely out of touch with reality of best interest of the child standard its a joke, and as for a parent that doesnt want to pay child support, 50/50 will most likely grant it. (IPC 497). And make sure you request a jury at the hearing its your constitutional right. Just splitting the bills associated with the children. The truth is, many mothers that have sole custody dont get to start over. If a pregnancy occur from the equal decision is when equality breaks down for the man. The System is beyond broken. Once again he has no say. When his son came out as gay she had her new husband beat him up she told him she hopes he gets aids and dies. So with all of this, I still have to pay support. Which is fine but, they dont require the woman or custodial parent to work nor if she does work dont make her show her pay stubs. There are bad mothers and there are bad fathers. Regardless of whether you have a child or not housing costs will always exist. Why should those women stay at home when they could be working. I continue to email my legislators asking them to make child support a shared responsibility instead of requiring the non-custodial parent to provide a government mandated lifestyle for the children (and by inference, the custodial parent) but the legislators are terrified of being seen as soft on deadbeat parents. I wasnt about to go, now my kids are over 30. Twitter boss has a history of making controversial comments about trans people. The third was an elderly man who when asked what he was doing with his time since he was out of work, he replied, sittin up at the house, $300 perge, 30 days. Totally understand where youre coming from, my ex cheated on me married the man she cheated with and they live 12 hr apart, I worked in the oilfield got out to be home for my kids more and now they dont want to lower my child support I pay her over half my income and she works and lives with her parents with my kids, the system is so jacked up! In 2013, Edin coauthored Doing the Best I Can: Fatherhood in the Inner City. Edin and coauthor Timothy Nelson conducted in-depth interviews with 110 low-income fathers in the Philadelphia area over seven years and discovered the majority of the men were exhilarated to be fathers, even when the pregnancies were unplanned. Also lay off the drugs. Fathers who feel like the rules are more about the. In PA of Armstrong county. Once she aborts the fetus, the females interests in and obligations to the child are terminated. Meanwhile, women are demoted to 50% custody parentslosing the babies theyve carried, nursed, took work off to care for, loved and nurtured and know like the back of their hands. Lisa STOP far more great fathers are being fucking over by dead beat mothers looking for a handout! this is just another way to lock up black men and put them in the leagal slavery system,.. we have to pay half of support but we dont get half the time, we are expected to maintain a house so when the kid does come to visit he has a place to stay. And if my child stays with him, she will be fed with food that she is allergic too, stays in the computer all day long and unsupervised with assignments, and not even read to before bedtime, only goes to the mall as part of going out does not even bring her to the park which is just walking distance, so why the hell I will let that happen. Child support cases really arent handled on a case by case basis but some stupid formula that revolves around money. The child benefits greatly from the growth in both parents, agreements and disagreements. Things like having my daughter call me at 230am to ask if her friend could spend the night next weekend, which when i would try to explain that it is common curtousy for middle of the night calls to be only emergency, got met with the exs wife snatching the phone away and stating that she told her to call, because if i love my daughter i would always be available for whatever she wants, no matter that i had to be up at 4 for work, she even said what kind of job makes you get up at 4, that is ridiculous. The matching dollars was supposed to help States pay for tracking down dead beat dads, but now every dad that gets a divorce is a dead beat. This is not fatherhood. 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